gone too soon

Lucy had been my neighbor for close to three years…for most of the time when we knew each other we were just casual friends exchanging hellos and how are you doings, a laugh here and there catching up on a rumor, a little gossip…just as neighbors would. That was until eleven months ago when we both realized we were going to be mothers. Until then, I hadn’t realized what a pleasant person she was. Pregnancy especially for a first timer can be a very trying time-you feel so many peculiar kinds of pains and emotions to the point where you don’t know what you feel anymore so it does help to talk to someone who understands.
Since we had something in common we started spending time together to ‘compare notes’. We would share our hopes, wishes, fears and even the challenges. If I went out and saw beautiful baby clothes ,I would come back and tell her and she would do the same .If the back aches became a little too much…she would recommend some sort of ‘therapy ’and I would do the same..if I learnt something new I would tell her…We would share our fears on childbirth, motherhood and talk about the myths and superstitions we had heard…and during the times when we felt we would give up we encouraged each other and there are those times we simply just had a good laugh and of course still caught up on some juicy neighborhood gossip. In the midst of all these, a friendship grew. One that was built on understanding and the comfort of knowing that you are not alone because there things in life that are best understood by those who have gone through it…It was a friendship that made the journey easier, shorter and more pleasant…….
Recently, I read an article in one of the local dailies in which the health minister said that maternal deaths should not occur at this day and age in Kenya. The article went on further to recount the story of two women; one who died during delivery in the hands of a drunken doctor and the other from complications arising from delivery. I did agree with her, sure in the 21st century with all the technology and expertise at our disposal, mothers should be accorded utmost care before, during and after delivery. After all why should they die while doing such a noble thing? When I read the article I did sympathize with the families and more so the infants left behind…but you know that so mistaken idea we always have that such things are so distant from us and that they cannot happen to us or anyone close? I thought so too until Tuesday morning when I got the call…Lucy had passed away.
Even as I write this, I still cannot believe that she is gone because no one is supposed to die this way. Just three weeks before she had given birth to twins; boy and a girl…she had died out of birth related complications. Sometimes I just sit down and remember all the hopes and dreams she had for her kids, the things she said, her excitement…, it’s hard to believe that she is gone, that she will not be able to share her life with her kids and that they can only be told stories of a mother they never got to know but one who loved them deeply and was only too happy to bring them into this world. When we talked about our babies I never thought this would happen…it never did cross my mind because there are times when all you think about is new life, hope and a future but not about the cruel hand of death… Now I know that being able to share my life with my son is not something I should take for granted. It is a blessing. Sometimes death takes from us wonderful people but life does also give us a chance to share our lives with people however short a time it might be. Rest in peace Lucy.